Anxiety Part 2

I knew I shouldn't have done it. Yesterday at the library I let Nathan pick out a story about fire trucks. I knew I shouldn't have done it but the cover didn't look so bad and I thought it would not actually feature any fires... just firetrucks. I was wrong and while no one was injured there was a fire. We also picked up Lyle, Lyle Crocodile. I read that story at naptime and all of a sudden at the end there was another fire. UGH!!!! Nathan seemed fine at naptime with both of those stories... no questions about fires, nothing really at all.

Last night Nathan picked out the firetruck story for daddy to read. AFter that, there was no going back. I usually go in after daddy has read his stories to sing their songs. Nathan just wouldn't let me leave. First he asked me all about fires and what we would do if there was a fire. I explained that there would not be a fire... but if there were, we have fire alarms in every room. They would ring and we would leave the house together. Big discussion on what we would do in the cold, etc. Next came the I don't want there to be a fire. Then finally I thought he was calm so I left. Five minutes later he came out of his room and said, I can't stop thinking about the fire. So I went into his room and explained that there would not be a fire at his house...but he was not easily convinced and kept asking why there wouldn't be a fire at his house. Finally I left again and he came and got me 2 minutes later saying he couldn't stop thinking of fire and that made a bad feeling in his tummy... and he was shaking and crying. Poor guy. I laid with him for a little while and again reassured him. I left once more and when he came out again, I sent daddy in. Daddy ate the funny feeling out of his tummy and nathan couldn't help but giggle a little. Finally after about 45 minutes of reassuring him he finally fell asleep. I thought for sure he would have bad dreams and he would be in our room before 2AM. But he slept through the whole night.

Today we went to our gymboree class and as we pulled into the parking lot, Nathan announced "That fire in my belly has gone away." I said good, where did it go. And he said it went down the mountain and far away.

Oh the worries. I feel so bad because I can remember having the exact same worries as a little girl. That feeling in your gut, not being able to get that imagine out of your head, and just wanting to fall asleep. Matt says this is all my fault that he worries so much and he just better have my study habits as well. We'll see.